The Truth about Soldiers and Dating Sites

Written by “Sapper”, ex US Army Engineer.

  • Soldiers in a combat zone do not have time to sit around on the internet. There are much more important things for them to do.
    • Examples: Eat, Shower, Sleep, Reload Ammo, Wash Uniforms, Watch TV, Prep for mission, Study, Inventory equipment, hang out with buddies, play XBox (if the FOB has one).
  • Soldiers do not go on dating sites looking for older women.
    • There are a few reason I say this. First they will not get laid on a dating site (and that is important to most soldiers). They are into personal interaction, they prefer Bars and Clubs. Also, most soldiers are vain as hell. They are looking for women that are young, big breasted and beautiful and dating sites do not offer this most of the time. There is nothing worse they being teased as a soldier and dating sites will bring ridicule.
  • No soldier in a Combat Zone (CZ) has any of the following issues:
    • Lack of Food/Water: There are 3 meals a day prepared by the 92G Cooks that are trained to do that. Also all day long snacks (Beef Jerky, Muffins, etc.) and drinks are available in the DFAC (Dining Facility) all the soldier has to do is walk in. Water is delivered in 1 Liter water bottles and maintained in large quantity on the FOB.
    • Lack of Medical Care: The military trains soldiers to serve as Medics and hires trained Doctors to care for the wounded.
    • Lack of Equipment: Soldiers are issued all equipment free of charge by 92Y Supply Personnel and are required to maintain it
    • Lack of Ammunition: Soldiers have plenty of ammo and if they run short they will get it delivered to them via what we call a Speed Ball package.
  • Leave Policy for Soldiers:
    • No CIVILIAN (aka YOU) can request Leave for a soldier. No Civilian (aka YOU again) has to pay for a soldier to go on leave.
    • No Civilian (Get the picture yet?) has to fill out any paperwork to a commanding officer anywhere…ever.
    • Soldier Leave is controlled by the Soldier and his/her Chain of command. There is no outside force* that can change it. Soldiers gain leave days just like you gain vacation days at work. If a soldier is going on leave from a Combat Zone (CZ) they are flown from the CZ to a location of their choosing FREE OF CHARGE and returned to the CZ FREE OF CHARGE.
    • There is no mythical branch of the military that deals in military leave.
    • * United Nation?s is NEVER involved in leave matters.
  • Injured Family Member in (Africa, England, On the Moon) needing health care:
    • No Soldier in the United States Military needs any kind of assistance from any Civilian to care for an injured child. Soldiers have health insurance called TRICARE that covers any injury, anywhere in the world 100%. The family is covered 100% as well and will be taken care of.
    • Anyone asking you for money for the “Sick Child”, “Sick Mother” (etc. etc. etc.) Is Full of Shit.
  • Found a large sum of cash/gold:
    • Since I will suspect that none of you have been to Afghanistan I will explain this briefly. Afghans are Poor people. If they had large sums of gold or cash, they would help themselves out. No Soldier in Afghanistan (Past, Present, or Future) will find any large sums of money without robbing a bank to get to it.
  • Legal Issues:
    • No soldier will ever deal with a Barrister, Lawyer, Ambassador, President, High Ranking General, or any other person to solve legal issues. The Military trains soldiers and hires Lawyers to work in the Office of the Judge Advocate General. They are usually low level officers that attended college for Law Degrees. There is no one else that a soldier would use unless it was a personal matter.
    • In Afghanistan there are a few things you should know….
    • Soldiers can get money from Traveling Pay teams. They are not broke, they are not scrounging for food and medicine.
    • I spent 27 Months (Two tours 07-08 and 09-10) in Afghanistan and not once did I see a WESTERN UNION in any location a soldier would be able to travel alone. Western Union is the last way ANY soldier would want to get his/her money in this place.
  • Soldier Mentality and Jargon:
      • If you haven’t caught on yet and you have read this far we have a very in your face mentality. We are trained to be direct and decisive. We speak clearly so that you can understand our meaning. Anyone that has been in the military in knows how to talk to diffuse a situation or how to escalate it. It is in our nature. We use words that are not often used outside of the military like OPSEC, SITREP, Chow, Clusterf%^k, etc. etc. We have our own language and when we are with other soldiers it flows like water. Civilians do not understand us a lot of the time.
      • We speak ENGLISH (or Spanish sometimes) but we have a grasp of concept. The so called men that are on dating sites claiming to be us have no grasp of the English Language. They have no clue how to use Conjunctions. They do not understand the written language only how it would be said (Am instead of I am). The fakes profess their love like Romeo in a Shakespeare Novella … (Soldiers do not profess love like that it’s how we are). We do not post Poetry (Unless you count Dirty Limericks). We don’t post pictures of Kittens (We are dog people the bigger the better).
  • The last thing:
      • Soldiers have been using Facebook since it’s inception. We have hundreds of friends mostly all military. We talk to each other all the time. If you are on our friends list you can see how it goes. There is not a day that goes by I don’t have a rousing game of Meme wars with an ex-soldier of mine. WE ARE BROTHERS AND SISTERS IN ARMS; WE HAVE BEEN TO HELL AND BACK; WE ARE FRIENDS IN REAL LIFE AS WELL AS ONLINE. If you look at the profile of a “Soldier” on a dating site or Facebook and they don’t have a metric shit ton of military friends they aren’t a soldier.



Don't worry. We don't bite.